Post by bryce333 on Feb 19, 2015 11:29:16 GMT -5
Journal Entry:
The more I think about it.... I might just have to end up sticking the SF'ers. I unfortunately haven't been to tribal, so I haven't been able to flip with a vote yet, and I'm afraid the opportunities are closing fast. I could have flipped at the challenge to help out Sam/Gaston/Young Matthew, but I'm not stupid, I'm not going to flip in a challenge where the results aren't even guaranteed. If I'm flipping, I'm doing it with my vote, which will actually count.
I don't want to flip on Sam/Young Matthew, but honestly, if Britti/Rachel aren't with them the numbers simply aren't there. It wouldn't make sense for me to throw my game away just to make a move that'll end up getting me voted out anyway. Whereas I think I still have in's with the SF'ers, mainly Jillian/Patty. I think I can work our "Rationale" alliance angle enough to let me slip through the cracks.
This has been really hard these past few rounds. Mentally I'm absolutely drained. Emotionally I'm a wreck. I'm snapping at random people and being a lot more malicious than I ever wanted to be. I don't want to be a mean person but so many people in this game aren't playing for themselves. Jeffrey/Kevin/Britti are complete goats and Rachel is a backstabbing liar. It's just really frustrating and after 40 days of constant stress and paranoia I'm cracking and saying things I would NEVER normally say.
I posted a really mean spirited confessional last night that I would have never have normally posted. I don't want to be a bad person. I really don't. I deleted the confessional because I don't want to be mean to anyone in the game but I'm constantly surrounded by people who are lying ALL THE TIME and it's so draining. After having Britti/Rachel swear up and down they were voting out Drunk Ricky and have it turn out that they were playing us the entire time, am I not allowed to be pissed? I think they're nice people, and I think Rachel is a good gameplayer, but it's hurtful. And being mean in return isn't the right answer but honestly at this point I'm just snapping at everybody.
I'm probably just going to stick with the SF'ers for now. I really don't want to, but the votes simply AREN'T there. Let it be known that i tried. I leaked all the information I could, I tried to get the votes, I tried playing the middle, I wanted something to happen... but it didn't. I feel like Sandra in HvV where she tried telling all the Heroes that Russell wasn't trustworthy and they shouldn't have him in the game and they were too stupid to listen to her and ended up all going home because of it. In the words of Sandra, "as long as it ain't me"
The more I think about it.... I might just have to end up sticking the SF'ers. I unfortunately haven't been to tribal, so I haven't been able to flip with a vote yet, and I'm afraid the opportunities are closing fast. I could have flipped at the challenge to help out Sam/Gaston/Young Matthew, but I'm not stupid, I'm not going to flip in a challenge where the results aren't even guaranteed. If I'm flipping, I'm doing it with my vote, which will actually count.
I don't want to flip on Sam/Young Matthew, but honestly, if Britti/Rachel aren't with them the numbers simply aren't there. It wouldn't make sense for me to throw my game away just to make a move that'll end up getting me voted out anyway. Whereas I think I still have in's with the SF'ers, mainly Jillian/Patty. I think I can work our "Rationale" alliance angle enough to let me slip through the cracks.
This has been really hard these past few rounds. Mentally I'm absolutely drained. Emotionally I'm a wreck. I'm snapping at random people and being a lot more malicious than I ever wanted to be. I don't want to be a mean person but so many people in this game aren't playing for themselves. Jeffrey/Kevin/Britti are complete goats and Rachel is a backstabbing liar. It's just really frustrating and after 40 days of constant stress and paranoia I'm cracking and saying things I would NEVER normally say.
I posted a really mean spirited confessional last night that I would have never have normally posted. I don't want to be a bad person. I really don't. I deleted the confessional because I don't want to be mean to anyone in the game but I'm constantly surrounded by people who are lying ALL THE TIME and it's so draining. After having Britti/Rachel swear up and down they were voting out Drunk Ricky and have it turn out that they were playing us the entire time, am I not allowed to be pissed? I think they're nice people, and I think Rachel is a good gameplayer, but it's hurtful. And being mean in return isn't the right answer but honestly at this point I'm just snapping at everybody.
I'm probably just going to stick with the SF'ers for now. I really don't want to, but the votes simply AREN'T there. Let it be known that i tried. I leaked all the information I could, I tried to get the votes, I tried playing the middle, I wanted something to happen... but it didn't. I feel like Sandra in HvV where she tried telling all the Heroes that Russell wasn't trustworthy and they shouldn't have him in the game and they were too stupid to listen to her and ended up all going home because of it. In the words of Sandra, "as long as it ain't me"
